Oliver and the Art of Deflection]

At the opticians:

Eye Assistant to Oliver: Can You see this letter?
O: e!!
Asst: Great. Can you see these?
O: a d f g!!
Asst: Wonderful. And these?
O: mzpq!
Asst. Good. Now tell me these
O: No.
Asst: Can you see them?
O: I just told you, no.
Asst. Try again.
O: How about you read them.
Asst. These are for you to read
O: Can you not READ??
Asst. Yes I can read. Here, just try one.
O: It is okay you cannot read. My sister cannot read either. But how old are you?
Asst. Just try this one. What do you think it looks like?
O: What do YOU think it looks like?
Asst. You tell me!
O: Really, you should try it. Reading is fun.
Asst: Can you not see it?
O: Yes I can [he clearly can't]. It is a...letter!! Right?? Right!!!
Asst: Yes.
O: See, I told you I can see it.
Asst. Let's try a different one.
O: What is your name?
Asst. How about this?
O: Do you go to school?
Asst. Almost done, try one more time. What is this one?
O: It is Halloween on Saturday.

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