Dogs]
O: We need a dog, Mom.
Me: Yes! I would love a dog. Let’s ask daddy.
O: Yes!
Me: what kind of dog would you like?
Oliver thinks: We need a dog that speaks English, I think.
Me: Um, dogs don’t speak English, Oliver. They just speak “dog.” They bark.
O: They don’t even speak Spanish?
Me: No
O: Oh. Well, we need to name the dog “Marina.”
Me: Marina? Why Marina?
O: Because that is Italian.
Me: Uh, oh.
O: And she can have a nickname. Her nickname will be “Ritorni.”
Me: Why?
O: Because that is also Italian, MOM.
Me. Got it. Yes, but what kind of dog do you want? What color?
O: Purple and yellow
Me: Well, Oliver, dogs don’t usually come in purple and yellow. Most dogs are white or black or brown.
O: We need a white dog with black spots!
Me: That’s a dalmation! You want a dalmation?
O: (in a voice that suggests I’m retarded): No, MOM. We can not get a DALMATION. If we got a DALMATION, we’d have to get 101 and of them!
Me: Why?
O: Because that’s what it is in the movie. It is always 101 Dalmations. And that is a lot. And they can not all sleep in my room.
Me: I see. Well, do you want a big dog or a little dog?
O: I would like a medium-small dog. Because a big dog would not fit in the house. And a big dog would not fit in my mouth. Which is good. Because dogs are not for eating.
Me: Uhh, true.
O: Except if you are Chinese.